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Archive for June, 2007

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This is an older story brought to you by our good friend Junior. You will notice with this blog there, most of these guys will make 2 and 3 appearances. Try not to get to attached to them though. It’s rare for a guy to last more then 2 years, and Junior is approaching the 2 year mark.

Junior had just purchased a brand new Sebring. He had been saving up for this car for a good year. Now more taking the bus, or coming in late because his ride flaked out on him.

Now Junior had the car for about a week. He was always offering to go grab lunch, and wanting to give other bus riders a ride home. He was really happy to have a new car.

One summer night last year, it was to hot to have lunch inside. So we all moved outside in the cool night air and had our lunch. Pulled down a few tail gates, turned on a radio and just hung out for 30. Well Junior took 2 other guys to am pm to grab some hot dogs and an icee. Well right in front of our warehouse is a street with a really sharp turn in it.(I will take a pic of the street tonight) I usually take the turn at around 30 mph, but people tell me I drive like an old lady. So we are all having good conversation, and enjoying our food, and we here a car speeding down the street. So we all look in the direction of the turn. Its Junior but he’s not slowing down. As soon as he hits the turn you hear loud screeching, and then the car fish tails, and is now heading towards our parking lot. Then the car hits the curb directly in front of our parking lot, the cars front end is about 4 feet in the air then comes down to a loud bang.

Immediately the other 2 guys in the car jump out yelling and cussing Junior out. I TOLD YOU TO SLOW DOWN, YOU COULD OF KILLED ME YOU DUMB MUFUCKA! Everyone in the parking lot is dying from laughter, and Junior just sits in in the car with a blank look on his face. I walk over and everyone is fine, but not the car. White smoke is coming from the hood, the 2 front tires are bent in, and his whole front bumper is cracked and hanging on for dear life. Luckily lunch is just about over, so I cleared the scene, because the guys were really giving it to Cole Trickle. I told him to call a tow truck, the car was blocking the 2 lane street. But Junior says no, if they come out I am gonna have to pay. So he gets this great idea to drive the car into our parking lot to save money. The drive way to enter our parking lot is only 25 feet away, so he goes for it.

The car starts fine, and he backs up off the sidewalk. But both tires are pointing in, so his car is turning on itself. He gets off the sidewalk after doing almost a complete 360, and heads for the drive way. I told him to leave it, because the tires looked like they were gonna give. But of course he keeps on moving. The funny thing is he isn’t making any ground, because the car is just turning. Then all of a sudden one of the tires folds underneath the car, and the other rolls down the street.

I am now on the ground in tears. This had to be the funniest thing I have ever see in my life. The car now resembled the bonus round car in street fighter II after your demolish it. Junior calmly gets out of his car, and walks down the street to recover his run a way tire.

Eventually a tow truck comes and leaves his car in our work parking lot. He puts in the call to his insurance company, and someone will be out the following afternoon to look at it. Now I ask him if he has GAP insurance, Junior only has full coverage. I told him that the car is not repairable, and they are gonna total it out, and if they do his insurance will not cover the full cost of the car. He argues with me, and says his full coverage is fine. Next day the guy from the insurance company comes out, looks at it for 5 minutes, and lets him know they are gonna most likely total it out because the frame is damaged.


Now fast forward another week. Everything is said and done and Junior now has a $4000 bill because full coverage only covers what the car is worth, not what he OWE’S. The car depreciated $4000 when it was driven off the lot. Now a year later Junior is still taking the bus, and still trying to pay off that $4000 bill. Oh yeah and he lost the $3000 he put down for that car.

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So this guy in my warehouse is a habitual liar. Junior Lies about everything. If you talk about last weekends bbq and how you drank 12 beers, he brings up the time he drank 20. If you talk about the 4 fish you caught on your last fishing trip, he talks about the time he caught 25. Shit is really annoying. But I dont call him out on it, cuz sadly he is a nerdy dude and I think he just wants to fit in. He is a 28 year old mexican/american with no brothers or sisters. Dropped out of school in the 10th grade. He has no friends, and I think he is a virgin still.
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A few weeks ago on a monday he comes up to me talking about an old friend of his dad, that wanted him to be his partner in importing and exporting. Supposebly that dude was based out of Kenya, and had a contract with Costco, and just needed to find a warehouse out here and he would let Junior run it. Then he tells me how he just got back in from Kenya that morning. This motherfucka said he flew to Kenya for the weekend. He worked that friday until around 1am, flew to Kenya right after work, visited the facilities for a day, then flew back home in time to start his first job on monday morning at 9am. I didnt even bring up the fact that he might need vaccinations to go to africa, or that he would need a passport, or the fact that africa is so far that it was impossible for him to even make it back. I just figured if i just let him tell his story, he would shut up and not bring it up again. Junior even went as far as to offer me a job when they opened the new warehouse. I told him we could talk when he gets everything situated.
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I thought that was the end of that story. But today he starts telling me about how much money they are making. But he still cant tell me what they are selling. But he did say the owner bought him a corvette for going into business with him. Now because they have done so well in their first month of operations the owner bought him a ferrari as a thank you. Good old Junior gets dropped off by his mother everyday. So I asked him because he was making so much money, why is he still working in the warehouse? Well I am trying to stack my money right now for early retirement. But your making SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much dough at the other job, $10 an hour is throw away money. But he said every little bit helped. Then I asked about why is his mom still dropping him off at work, when he has a ferrari and a corvette sitting in the drive way? If you had a $100,000 car would u bring it to work, and let it sit in a parking lot at night?All day long he has been going on and on about his cars, even describing them in detail. Finally I couldnt handle it. I told him he was a liar, and basically called him out. Not in the nicest way. Well Junior started crying, and went to the bathroom. Yes I made a grown ass man cry. I hope he doesnt jump off a bridge tonight or something. I feel kind of bad.

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I just rehired this guy named Danny for the 3rd time. I usually dont take someone back after one time. But he was with us for 8 months one of the best workers I had and a very nice guy. But he had problems with his room mates. He was originally from AZ and moved out here with 3 friends. They were renting an apartment together. His boys couldnt hold a job down and couldnt come up with their part of the rent, so he had to move back to AZ.

Well he ends up coming back 4 months later this time with his girl. But the dumbass cant keep his dick in his pants. She catches him cheating, throws him out, and he quits to end up back in AZ again.

So now its over a year later, he is back with this girl and comes back down. Gives me a call and we talk, and I agree to give him 1 more chance. So he has been back for 3 weeks, doing really well. Him and his girl are talking marriage everything is great.

Tuesday he was in a trailer pulling a sofa out, when a crate with a marble counter top fell over and hit him on the ankle. Danny is limping really bad, but says hes fine and doesnt need to go to the clinic. Well after an hour, his limp has gotten way worse, and I tell him he has to go to the clinic. But he is fighting me on it, saying he is alright. Right then i knew something was up. I asked him if he could pass a drug test, he said he hadnt done any drugs. So then whats the problem? He had been drinking before work. He killed about 8 beers and a few screwdrivers. We are barely in our 2nd hour of work, so its still in his system. So i told him, I would wait until lunch time. But after lunch he was going.

Lunch ends i grab him we fill out the paperwork, and I drive him to the clinic. I drop him off and tell him to call me when they are done, and I will come back to grab him. I head back to work, and before I get there, he calls and says he can have his girl pick him up and take him back to work cuz they lived a block away. Cool, even better for me. Well i get back to work around 10:15pm. We keep working and finish up for the night and I havent heard back from Danny, and its almost 1am. So I call the clinic and they said he left at 11:45pm. I call Danny and he wont answer his cell.

The next day Danny is a now call no show at work, we still cant get a hold of him at home or on his cell. Day after another no call no show, but we get ahold of his girl and she says he is in the hospital, but she will tell him to call us.

Today Danny is waiting for me as I pull into our parking lot. Apparently after he was released from the clinic Tuesday night, his girl wouldnt answer her phone. so he called his boy and his boy picked him up. Danny went back to their crib, and his girl was fucking some other dude. Danny gets into it with that dude, throws his girl out then proceeds to swallow the whole bottle of drugs the doc just gave him. His girl returned to the apartment to find him laying on the floor. He was taken to the hospital, and they held him for 3 days for counseling and observation.

He told me all this, and then apologized, then asked is his job was still available. I told him I couldnt let him keep his job this time. For one you tried to kill yourself, so now I have to look at the safety of the people working here. If you are willing to do harm to yourself, how do I know you wont come in here and harm one of them or me? Also you and your girl are having problems again. So I am gonna give you your job back and if you guys dont work it out you are gonna quit on me again because you have to go back to AZ. I wished him the best of luck, but said we needed to part ways

It was really hard to do. I really like helping people out. I have hired a couple of felons, and they have worked out well and are back on their feet. But I just couldn’t do anymore for Danny. I just hope dude ends up alright in the end, and hopefully they end their relationship, its obviously not healthy.

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This story is about 2 years old. But it was the story that got me to start writing this crap down. Names have been changed, to protect me.

All the guys are sitting around the break area eating lunch and talking shit. When nothing but guys work together for 40+ hours a week, the shit talking is non stop. One guy named Mike goes in on this other guy named Luis saying his girlfriend looks like his sister. So incest jokes start flying, and everyone lays into this kid. Lunch ends and everyone gets back to work. I am doing my normal walk on the floor, and I could still hear guys giving Luis a hard time.

I stop to talk to a new hire Rich. It was his second day of work, and I wanted to see how he was doing so far. We get to talking and right away tells me the incest jokes weren’t funny, and they really shouldn’t be giving Luis a hard time. Then asks if I could keep a secret.

And here we go, once upon a time not long ago…© Slick Rick

Well it turns out Rich grew up not knowing his mother. His dad raised him alone, his mother left them shortly after his birth. After Rich graduated high school he got curious and decided to look for his mother. He gets a hold of some of his mothers relatives, and ends up getting his mothers phone number. Rich calls his mother to break the ice, everything goes great. They continue with the phone calls for several weeks, building towards a meeting. So eventually his mother asks if he wanted to go over to her house, and they could meet face to face, Rich agrees.Rich drives to his mothers house and knocks on the door. His mothers room mate Irene answers the door, and lets Rich in. Irene tells Rich that his mother was on her way home from work. Rich tells Irene he is a friend of the family. Rich and Irene get friendly for a few minutes. Rich’s mother gets home, and Rich leaves with his mother to catch up. Rich and his mother end up meeting a few more times. Every time Rich seems to arrive to her house earlier and earlier to talk with her room mate Irene. Well after a few weeks of visits with his mother, and Irene. Rich ends up sexing up his mothers room mate. But they don’t tell his mother. This continues for a few months.Then on one visit Rich’s mother decides to drop a bomb on him. She lets him know that Irene her room mate is his mother, Rich’s grandmother. Now I know what your thinking. Why would a kid right out of high school want to bone an old lady. Apparently Rich’s mom left him and his dad because she had Rich at 14. Turns out her mother had her at 13. So Irene was only 27 when Rich was born, add 18 to that and you get 45. Before we go any further of course Irene is mexican.

Immediately after finding out this new news, Irene and Rich stop their extra activities. They never let anyone know about what they had been doing. Fast forward a couple of months later and Irene calls Rich to let him know she is pregnant. But she wants to keep the baby because she is a strict catholic, and abortion is a sin. *pause for laughter* So they keep the baby, and they tell Rich’s mother about what happened. His mother throws Irene out of the house, and wants nothing to do with Rich, again. So Rich tells his father, and asks if Irene could stay with them. His father throws him out of the house. Now you have Rich and his baby momma/grandmother homeless. They end up getting their own apartment, and Rich helped Irene through the pregnancy. The baby is 4 years old now, and they have never told him that his father is also his nephew, he doesn’t know his grandmother is also his sister.Now I know what you’re thinking. There is no way something this crazy actually happened. I called him on the story, told him it was a lie. So right in front of me, Rich grabs his cell phone and dials his current girlfriend. He tells her baby do I have a son? She says yeah. Who is his mom, she says Irene. He asks what his her relationship to me? She kind of sighs and doesn’t say anything. So he asks again, and she replies your grandmother. He had ZERO time to make up this stupidly insane story. Why he chose to share it with me after his 2nd day is beyond me. I have seen this baby momma/grandmother on a few occasions, and she is not an attractive lady. She doesn’t look her age, but she is definitely not an older lady I would be trying to smash. Rich is still working with me. I am still the only one who knows about him being a grandmother fucker.

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well you guys remember the 3 morons who just up and walked out on the job a few weeks ago. Well one of the pendejos decided to put me down as a reference for a new job. I guess when he went out job hunting, he figured it didn’t look good that he had a 1 year gap in employment, and the only other work experience he had was Taco Bell.

So I had a message waiting for me when i walked in today. I return the call and its an HR from this other warehouse in the area. So for those of you that don’t know. You cant really bad mouth people, because then you open yourself up for a lawsuit. So if they ask if someone was a good worker, and they weren’t. You cant say they were a moron, you just have to answer no comment. Usually people who call for references know this and just get verification that this person was employed there at one point in time, and sometimes verifying their job duties while working here. Then they usually ask if they are eligible for rehire.

So this lady kept on asking me how his work was, was he good with the other employees, just trying to get info out of me. I kept on answering no comment. So after about 5 no comments I told her, he worked here from this date to this date. Thats all that I can give you. Then she asks how long he drove the forklift while he was here. I replied never. She said he put down he drove the forklift for 6 hours a day for the entire time he was here. Most forklift jobs pay decent but they require you to have previous experience. I told her, he never drove the forklift while he was here. So dude trying to lie on his application saying he got all this experience, that he doesnt.

Then I politely asked her if that was all the questions she had. She said yes. As she was thanking me for my time. I stopped her and said you forgot one important question. She asked what that was. I replied, is he eligible for re hire? No he isn’t. He abandoned his job on this date. Then I thanked her for her time, and hung up.

Me – 4827482748297492
warehouse workers – 0

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Today me and our new dispatcher were talking. Been with the company for maybe 6 months. Cool guy, about 28 years old. I was telling him about the 3 morons who quit on me, I give him a few more of my “war” stories. Then he tells me his old job was worse. He told me that 1 day half the warehouse workers were fired. They had video footage of guys selling guns in the parking lot, selling rock in the back of the warehouse, doing lines while working, and sex in the warehouse and parking lot. This cat worked at a food warehouse. He said LP (loss prevention) showed him all kinds of the tapes, and after they had enough evidence. They shut down business for the day. Everyone got the day off, except the warehouse. The warehouse guys came in and the Feds were there. The guys selling drugs and guns were immediately taken away, and the rest were given the option to quit. I am glad my warehouse isn’t the only crazy one. (original date of story 5/23/07)

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Well I have been having problems with 3 guys in my warehouse for the last 2 weeks. 3 teenagers. They all are best friends and car pool to work together. They have been getting on my last nerve. They complain all damn day about how everyone works. Yet they aren’t the best workers. If i tell one of them he is slacking, the other two come up and comment about other workers. I wrote them up for this last week. They have just been all around annoying.

Well they were really pushing my leads buttons today, complaining about everything. So my lead got pissed and told them. If you don’t want to to work then leave. I am tired of you guys complaining all damn day. Either get to work and shut up, or leave. Then they start in on how the night shift would fall apart without them. So i let them know i could have a replacement for them in a day, and that they were very replaceable. For some reason they think that their job of unloading and loading trailers is sooooooooooo complicated and difficult that we would never be able to replace them.

So everything gets quiet and everyone is working. Then my lead hits my on the walkie talkie and says the 3 of them are quitting. So I decided to give them the attention they wanted at that point. As they walked to the time clock to clock out, I yelled STOP!!!!. DON’T LEAVE WE NEED YOU! I AM SORRY! They kept on walking towards the parking lot and I kept the show going. Until they drove out of our parking lot.

Sad thing is all 3 of them are 19 with kids. Two have no high school diploma, and 1 is diabetic and needs insurance for his shots. Oh yeah all 3 bought new cars within the last 3 months. Oh yeah and they live out in this newly developing city called Hesperia, CA. Its really far still not developed and there is no work up there besides shitty retail jobs, and fast food. They were making the 55 mile drive each way down here because they were getting paid so much more down here. Now they cant even account for what they have been doing this past year. Fucking kids. (original date of story

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