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Archive for July, 2007

This driver just turned in his 2 week notice to me. Asked me if I could pass this on to HR for him in the morning. This mofo wrote it out on some printer paper, and it looks like a 3rd grader did it. This is a scan of the actual letter that he wanted me to turn into HR.

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Here is a translation of what he was trying to say.

TRANSLATION

To Dora and *company name*

Here is my notice to quit
my last day working will be August 3, 2007
Next week is my vacation and I will be taking it paid
8/6/07 through 8/10/07

From *employee name*

THANK YOU

now keep in mind this driver is like 45 years old with kids who are teenagers. Our public schools need help.

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OUCH!

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This is another older story, it happened about a year ago. But this gentleman who has worked with me for a few years named Charlie, comes in to work early one day and needs to talk to me. So we go into my office and he gives me a doctors note and tells me he has to be on light duty because the doctor said he cant lift more than 7 lbs for 3 days. Right away I ask what the hell he did. He said he hurt himself … there. (below the belt) I told him we dont have light duty work for him, and since he hurt himself outside of work he would just have to take time off unpaid. Of course Charlie cant afford to take the 3 days off, so he says he can lift, but to much stress will cause his wound to open back up. So again I ask HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU GET A WOUND IN YOUR FUN PARTS?!?
So Charlie gives in, and here is the story. Charlie is not circumsized. Him and his girl were having a nice little sexathon that weekend. All is going well, but he feels a slight burn during the deed. No big deal, he plays through the pain like any man would, and finishes up. He uses the restroom and notices a small tear in his foreskin. Either she was really dry, or he only pulled the hood back half way? Fuck if I know I aint got that extra skin. But no big deal he cleans it out and figures he can just avoid sex for the next week and let it heal up. WRONG! © Charlie Murphy. His girl had the house to herself again the next day, and she wants some of Charlie. So he goes down there and says fuck it and plays injured. This time he says he can really feel the burning worse, almost like salt in an open wound. I guess open cuts and pussy juice dont mix. This time he cant finish because the pain is to much. He turns the lights on and BLOOD EVERY WHERE! Her bed looked like a murder scene. He looks down and his foreskin now has a HUGE tear in it and is bleeding badly. Mufucka even left blood in the coochie.
Charlie goes to the hospital and the doctor ends up giving him 3 stitches to repair the damage. Tells him not to do anything lifting and intense labor, because he will re open the wound. I felt so bad for the poor boy that I found some light duty for him to do. I mean he already tore his dick, i cant have him losing 3 days of pay on top of that. The moral of the story is if it burns, STOP!

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you guys remember Tijo right? The guy who fucked his grandma and now has a son who is also his uncle?
If not you can read about him here.
Ok well Rich is making a second appearance. Today he comes in about an hour early to see me. We go into my office to talk. He has to take a medical leave of absence. Apparently he has had very bad pains in his back for a month or so, along with fever, and vomiting. He finally went to the doctors this week to have get checked out. he said he has 3 holes in his liver, because he drinks to much. Now Rich is 23 or 24 years old. So he is checking himself into rehab for alcohol so he can kick this shit before it costs him his life. Good move on his part, glad he actually cares enough to do something. I just couldnt believe his liver is on Mickey Mantle status when he isnt even 25 yet.
My guess is he has this:
How does ALD progress?There are three main stages of ALD, although the progression through these stages is variable. Examining a sample of the liver under the microscope from a biopsy gives the most accurate measure of the degree of liver damage.Minimal change, or fatty liver: heavy drinkers often develop fatty change in the liver. This is not linked to deterioration in liver function, but abnormalities may be seen in some of the blood tests that give an indirect measure of liver disease (also called ‘liver function tests’ or ‘LFTs’). Fatty liver is reversible with abstinence from alcohol, but it is the first stage in the progression to cirrhosis.Alcoholic hepatitis: the effects of this condition can be mild but may also be life threatening. The LFTs will almost always be abnormal, and the patient may develop jaundice. As with fatty liver, abstinence from alcohol can reverse the effects, but those who continue to drink heavily have a high risk of developing cirrhosis.Cirrhosis: this is the final, irreversible stage of ALD and is characterised by scarring of the liver and development of liver nodules. It severely affects liver function and reduces life expectancy. The LFT’s are usually abnormal, there may be jaundice (yellow colouring of the eyes and skin) and sometimes bruising or bleeding caused by abnormalities of the blood clotting system. In an advanced stage of ALD (severe alcoholic hepatitis or cirrhosis) the remaining liver capacity is insufficient for it to carry out its normal functions, then the body’s metabolism becomes badly affected and the stage of ‘decompensated ALD’ is reached. Complications of this are discussed below.

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There is this guy in my warehouse who has 10 kids. We are gonna call him Lance. Lance is one of my best employees, he just has 10 kids. Well the guy has 8 of his 10 kids staying with him and his wif…errr… baby momma. Needless to say money is tight as fuck around his house. Plus the mom of his other 2 kids is taking him for child support. Of course he owes back child support as well. So on average for 2 weeks of work he takes home $200.

Well Lance lives a good 18 miles from work, and has no car. On his way to work he catches the bus halfway here, and rides his bike the rest of the way. After work though, the buses aint running. So dude bikes the whole 18 miles. Takes him about 2 hours to get home. He has been doing this for almost 2 years now.

Last week Lance bought an old Astro Van off of Junior. Well he agreed to pay him $1200 ($400 a month, for 3 months) Lance has been a happy mofo. No more riding his bike in the heat, cold, or rain.

Today Lance comes in riding on his bike. I asked him what happened to his wheels. He pulls out a picture of a charred astro van with a crushed front end. Apparently Saturday his baby momma decided to go cruising around the neighborhood with their new wheels. While driving she drops something and as she is leaning over to pick it up, she slams straight into a parked car. She doesn’t have a license. The van catches fire and burns.

The people who own the car that she hit, agree to keep the insurance companies out of it. They work out an agreement with Lance. That he is to pay for the damage to their car. I would guess by the looks of the car will be around $3000. So they are gonna fix it, and he will pay them every month $350. So now he owes Junior $800 still for the car, that is burnt to the ground, and he owes another $3000 to his new friends.

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